Sharing a room with someone you don’t know

There is something slightly alarming about the words “shared room” when the person you’re sharing with is someone you’ve never met. Will they snore? Will I snore? Will they want the window open all night? Will they go to bed at nine or read until two in the morning? And, perhaps most importantly, will we actually like each other?

At Naxos Creative, most people do have their own rooms, and we know that for many guests having that private space is an important part of the retreat. But we also offer shared rooms on some retreats, both for people who are happy to share and because it can make the whole experience considerably more affordable.

We completely understand those worries. A lot of people come on our retreats on their own, which we love. You don’t need to persuade a partner or friend to come with you and you certainly don’t need to know anyone before you arrive. For some people, sharing a room makes the retreat much more affordable, but it can also be a really lovely way to arrive because you immediately have one person you know a little better than everyone else.

We’ve seen some wonderful friendships start this way. There are the chats before bed, cups of tea in the morning, comparing notes about the book you’re reading, deciding whether there’s time for a swim, or simply having someone to walk down to dinner with on that first evening. When you are travelling alone, that can be a surprisingly nice part of the experience.

Of course, sharing isn’t always completely straightforward. People have different habits. Some like the room freezing cold, others don’t. Some need complete darkness, while others like to read late. There are bathroom routines, alarms, open windows, air conditioning and, yes, snoring. And sometimes one person’s suitcase stays neatly in the corner while the other one seems to have exploded across the entire room within ten minutes of arriving.

The best thing is simply to talk to each other. If you’re a light sleeper, say so. If you like to get up very early, mention it. If the air conditioning is making you freeze, don’t lie there silently getting more and more irritated by it. Most things are very easily sorted out if you talk about them before they become an issue.

It’s also worth remembering that sharing a room doesn’t mean you have to spend the whole retreat together. Retreats are social, but they are also about having time to yourself. You may want to sit somewhere with your book, go for a walk, have a coffee alone or disappear for an afternoon nap, and your roommate may want exactly the same thing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying you need a little time on your own.

And what if you genuinely don’t get on? It does happen. We can’t guarantee that two strangers will become best friends, and it would be silly to pretend otherwise. We do our best when matching people, and if there is something you think we should know beforehand, please tell us. If something really isn’t working during the retreat, tell us then too. We would much rather know than have someone quietly feeling uncomfortable for several days.

One of the things Neil, Nola and I decided very early on was that we wanted Naxos Creative retreats to feel small, warm and inclusive. We wanted everyone to have a place at the table, whether they came with somebody or completely on their own. Sharing can be part of that. You may open the door on the first afternoon feeling slightly nervous about the stranger on the other side of the room, but by the end of the week you may be swapping books, laughing over dinner and making plans to meet again. It doesn’t always happen, of course, but quite often it does.

A few practical things help. Talk about lights, windows, air conditioning and alarms early on, bring earplugs and headphones just in case, give each other a little space and try to keep the shared parts of the room reasonably tidy. Most importantly, say something if a small thing is bothering you before it turns into a big thing, and if you need us, come and find us.

Mostly, sharing a room just needs a little flexibility and a sense of humour. You might come for the books and end up going home with a new friend.